Why I Don’t Believe in Quick-Fix Self-Care Anymore and What I Do Instead
Like many others in the mental health space, I have recently stopped promoting quick-fix self-care. You might be thinking, "Of course! You’re a therapist. You should know that already!" But the truth is, like many, I fell into the allure of simple self-care fixes, believing they were enough to truly make a difference in my well-being.
This post will take you through five reasons why I no longer believe in quick-fix self-care and what I do instead. Stay with me until the end to learn about a self-care approach that has transformed my life and can help you, too. No peeking allowed! You might just find a new way to genuinely nurture yourself in the process.
Background: Quick-Fix Self-Care and I
Let’s hop into a time machine and take a trip back to 2010. Remember when Rihanna’s "Only Girl (In the World)" was on the radio, and everyone was obsessed with the newest iPhone? Back then, I was driving a trusty Honda Civic, working full time, a new wife to my second husband (yeah, yeah….story for another post), the mother of 2 little girls, working part time in a community mental health clinic and in my Master’s program in the evenings. The weight of balancing clients, personal life, full time work, studies and all the midlife responsibilities creeping in on my heels was heavy then a motha*&^!.
Awwwww…..A blast from the past….2010…..Yeah…we cute and everything…..
But I was EXHAUSTED! 🥴
It was around this time that the idea of quick-fix self-care—think bubble baths, retail therapy, and 10-minute mindfulness apps—became really popular. Everyone was talking about it. Books were being written, and Instagram was flooded with the idea that we could manage our stress with a few "me time" activities. As a therapist, I started incorporating these ideas into my practice, suggesting quick, easy ways for my clients to decompress.
Fast forward to 2020, when the world seemed to collectively break down, and my frustrations with the quick-fix self-care mindset hit a peak. Here’s why I had to make a change.
5 Reasons Why I Don't Believe in Quick-Fix Self-Care Anymore
Reason #1. Quick-Fix Self-Care Often Ignores the Bigger Picture
Let's start with the tough one: quick-fix self-care often avoids the real issues beneath our stress and anxiety. When we focus on a temporary distraction—whether it’s a face mask or scrolling social media in the name of relaxation—we're not addressing the deeper emotional needs or life stressors that are causing the distress.
For me, I realized that these superficial solutions were a way of numbing out rather than a method for truly nurturing my well-being. The clients I work with, especially Black Gen X women facing midlife transitions, were experiencing the same thing. A quick escape wasn’t healing the underlying stress caused by unresolved emotions, family dynamics, or feeling stuck in life.
Here's another article backing me up on this one! LOL
Reason #2. It’s a Financial Drain with Minimal Return
Let’s be real—self-care has turned into a multibillion-dollar industry. Back when I first started exploring quick-fix solutions, it didn’t seem like much. I’d spend $10 on a journal here, $75 on a spa session there. But over time, it added up. According to various studies, the average American spends nearly $200 a month on self-care items that don’t provide long-lasting relief.
When I looked at my own expenses—and how little return I was getting in terms of real stress relief or emotional balance—I knew something had to give. I could have been investing that money in experiences that provide deeper fulfillment, like therapy, workshops, or meaningful activities aligned with my values.
Ooops, did I just drop a hint about what I’ve switched to?
Reason #3. I Just Needed More
This one is deeply personal. The truth is, I was simply tired of the surface-level nature of quick-fix self-care. While taking a walk or sipping herbal tea worked for a short moment, I never felt truly replenished or connected to myself. I’d often find myself spiraling back into overwhelm soon after.
As Black Gen X women, we carry the weight of family, relationships, work, and cultural expectations on our shoulders. For me and many of my clients, a fleeting break from reality just isn’t enough. We needed a deeper, more nourishing approach to self-care that would restore us from the inside out.
Now, I focus on practices that help me feel more grounded, like daily journaling, setting clear boundaries, and taking regular social media breaks. I also incorporated therapy and mindfulness practices to support my mental health in more profound ways.
Reason #4: It Doesn’t Address Systemic Stressors
This might be the hardest one to admit because it’s often overlooked in the self-care conversation. Quick-fix self-care doesn’t address the larger systemic issues that contribute to our stress—like racism, sexism, and the societal pressure to "have it all" as Black Gen X women. These issues can’t be solved by a 15-minute face mask.
My progress with recognizing the impact of these broader societal stressors has been key to shifting how I view self-care. Rather than blaming myself for feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, I’ve learned to be compassionate with myself and acknowledge the bigger picture. And that’s a perspective I’ve started incorporating into my therapy practice with clients as well. We can’t ignore the systemic factors, and real self-care acknowledges that.
Reason #5: My New Approach Works Better
Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for—what I do instead! My new approach to self-care is intentional and sustainable. It’s not about quick fixes, but about long-term strategies that align with my values and foster emotional balance.
The biggest change? I’ve started focusing on restorative self-care. This means creating daily practices that rejuvenate me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I prioritize therapy, mindfulness, time with loved ones, and activities that truly recharge me.
Here are some of the self-care practices that work best for me and my clients at Point and Pivot Counseling Services:
Mindfulness Meditation – This practice helps you stay connected to your present experience, fostering acceptance and reducing anxiety.
Journaling – A daily practice of reflection and emotional expression that helps process deeper thoughts and feelings.
Boundaries – Saying no when necessary and protecting your time and energy is essential for mental health.
Therapy – Yes, even therapists go to therapy! This allows me to continuously work on emotional balance and deal with life’s challenges from a place of strength.
By switching to these practices, I’ve found that I’m more grounded, less reactive to stress, and more connected to my sense of self.
What I Do Instead of Quick-Fix Self-Care
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve moved away from the superficial and now embrace restorative, long-term self-care. Here’s why this approach works better for me:
It supports emotional and mental health by addressing root causes.
It’s sustainable, integrating into daily life rather than being an occasional escape.
It acknowledges systemic issues and encourages self-compassion.
That’s a wrap! In conclusion, I no longer subscribe to quick-fix self-care. Instead, I focus on creating sustainable routines that genuinely help me stay emotionally balanced.
If you’d like to explore a deeper approach to self-care, I’d love to offer you a free consultation at Point and Pivot Counseling Services.
CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULT!
Together, we can explore what works best for your life.
Let’s dive into real, meaningful self-care!
You may also love to read: “How Do I Know if I'm Ready for Therapy?”.
