A Quick Guide to Finding the Right Therapist
I remember when I was looking for a therapist years ago…..
Way before I did “all the things” to become a therapist myself. I scoured the internet reading websites, bios and therapy directories. I know firsthand how difficult it is to find someone who you think would be a “good fit”. And finding a black therapist…..who actually has openings…..that fit your schedule…..in your state….can be like finding a needle in a haystack!
So, what did I do? I scheduled a session with someone who 1) had openings and 2) took my insurance. That was my criteria! THAT’S IT! Needless to say….some of those sessions were……ummmmmm…….kind of awkward…to say the least. Now, don’t get me wrong, these therapists were educated, I’m sure they were good at their craft, and they nice enough (shoulder shrug). BUT…..the rapport with some of them just wasn’t there. I didn’t feel like I could be my complete and authentic self. I didn’t fully trust the therapist, so I censored myself. Vulnerability was an issue for me ANYWAY…..so being vulnerable, with this person….who I felt didn’t really “get me”, was a HARD NO!
According to the Family Institute of Northwestern University (and many other scholarly studies) research shows the strongest predictor of successful treatment in therapy is the therapeutic relationship between the therapist and the client. So no wonder therapy gets a bad rap in some black and brown communities.
So, is therapy a waste of time….OR is it that you just haven’t found the RIGHT therapist!?
Finding the right therapist can feel like a daunting task, especially for Black Gen X women who are navigating unique midlife challenges. You’re dealing with family expectations, work transitions, and that sneaky little thing called anxiety that shows up at the most inconvenient times.
We get stuck wondering things like, “How do I find a therapist who really understands me as a Black woman?” or “What if I don’t connect with the first therapist I try?” When you’re unsure what to do, it’s hard to move forward.
What if I tell you, you can bring order to the chaos by knowing what to look for in a therapist who gets your needs. In this post, I’ll define (broadly of course) what makes a therapist the right fit for Gen X women of color and provide 3 strategies to help you find that perfect match. CAUTION: These are very loose strategies to get you started. Yes….we are Black Gen X women of color, but we are all different and have different needs. This guide is a reference to get you started on your journey to finding a therapist. In addition to these suggestions, be sure to also look for a therapist who has experience and competence in any areas that require a specific skillset to meet your unique needs. I hope this gives you a roadmap so you can get started with therapy and find the emotional support you deserve.
What is the Perfect Approach to Finding a Therapist for Gen X Women of Color?
Finding the right therapist means finding someone who understands the unique experiences of Black women in midlife. It’s about more than credentials. NOW….let’s not get silly here …..credentials are important! The enormous educational requirements ( Master’s degree, at minimum), internships, practicums, state exams, continuing education requirements, state licensure requirements, etc., etc., etc. It definitely ain’t nothing to sneeze at!
PUT SOME RESPECT ON MY NAME!
It’s just not the ONLY indicator of a good fit. In addition to making sure you’re working with someone who is trained and licensed, it’s also about cultural competence, empathy, and real therapeutic support tailored to the emotional well-being of women like you.
In other words: The right therapist should not only have the skills to help you with anxiety and midlife transitions but also understand the cultural dynamics that impact your mental health.
The added benefit is that you’ll feel truly seen, heard, and supported in your journey toward emotional well-being.
Tip #1 - Prioritize Cultural Competence
Cultural competence in therapy means your therapist understands the social, cultural, and racial factors that affect your mental health. For Black Gen X women, this is crucial. You're not just dealing with general life stressors; you’re dealing with cultural dynamics that can amplify those stressors—like balancing family expectations, facing workplace discrimination, and navigating complex social roles.
This is important because therapy should be a safe space where you don’t have to explain every nuance of your lived experience as a Black woman. Many people (like younger me) who are new to therapy start out thinking any therapist will do, but they soon realize that if the therapist doesn’t get their cultural background, they don’t get the full support they need.
And then they wind up feeling misunderstood or frustrated, which can lead to not getting the experience they deserve. There is nothing more irritating than having to “explain” the nuances of your culture in your therapy session! I mean….we only got an hour! AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! LOL
But no, for real, the key to finding a therapist who understands your unique challenges is to seek out professionals who highlight cultural competence in their practice.
To get started here, look for therapists who specifically mention working with women of color or Black women in their bios, websites, or directories. They should demonstrate awareness of cultural issues, which ensures they’re equipped to address your specific concerns.
Tip #2 - Look for Experience with Midlife Transitions
Midlife transitions are the emotional, physical, and social changes that occur as women move into their 40s and 50s. For Gen X women, this might involve shifts in family dynamics, career changes, or even reevaluating personal goals. Your therapist needs to understand how these life transitions uniquely affect women of color.
If you’ve spent hours researching therapists, only to find none of them seem to specialize in midlife, you’re not alone. Many therapists focus on more general mental health concerns, but what you need is someone who can specifically help you navigate this crucial life stage.
Without a therapist who understands the nuances of midlife, you can sit through session after session and still feel like you're not making any headway. A really useful tool for narrowing down your search is to look for therapists who specialize in “life transitions” or “midlife challenges” and include those keywords in your search.
Expand your search by using therapist directories that allow you to filter by specialization. Websites like Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today often allow you to select therapists who focus on specific life stages, like midlife.
Tip #3 - Seek a Therapist Who Offers Practical Strategies for Anxiety Management
Anxiety management strategies are techniques and tools that help you cope with anxiety, especially during times of transition. The right therapist will not only listen but also give you actionable tools you can use in your daily life.
Here’s where you’ll really start to bring it all together. The therapist you choose should empower you with strategies to manage anxiety. For Gen X women of color, anxiety can be heightened by juggling multiple roles, cultural expectations, and the pressures of maintaining a "strong Black woman" persona.
Of course, finding a therapist who blends emotional support with practical strategies will take some time. Consider starting with therapists who specialize in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and/or mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), as both are proven to help with anxiety management.
The process you can use to find the right fit is:
Search for therapists who list anxiety management as a specialization.
Look for those who integrate ACT, CBT or MBSR into their practice.
Then, in order to ensure they’re a fit, schedule an initial consultation to ask about their approach to anxiety management for women of color.
Once you’re done, you’ll be well on your way to finding a therapist who doesn’t just listen but also equips you with the tools to thrive.
Putting it All Together for Your Perfect Therapist Search
There you have it! The 3 components of your perfect therapist search: cultural competence, experience with midlife transitions, and practical strategies for anxiety management. It may sound like a lot, but like most things, practice makes perfect. Just focus on finding therapists who align with these key areas, in addition to any other specific needs you may require.
This will help you find someone who truly understands the challenges you’re facing and provide the emotional support you need to manage anxiety, set boundaries, and navigate midlife transitions with confidence.
What’s next? If you’re in New Jersey and wondering if I’m the right therapist for you, schedule a free 15-minute consultation. I’d love to chat with you!
If you are not in New Jersey but are looking for a therapist, hopefully this quick guide will help you streamline your search so you can find a therapist who gets you.