When Anxiety Looks Like Overachievement: The Hidden Struggle of Always Being 'On'
Story Time
Meet Tanya. She’s always been known as the go-to person—the one who handles it all, stays on top of every little thing, and somehow manages to do it with a smile. Tanya has climbed the career ladder, keeps her household running smoothly, and even finds time to help out friends and family. People look at her and think, “Wow, she’s really got it together.”
But what they don’t see is what’s happening behind closed doors. Tanya is constantly running on fumes. She wakes up in the middle of the night with a racing mind, worried about what she might have missed. Even when she’s supposed to be relaxing, she feels guilty for not doing more. The truth is, Tanya doesn’t feel like she’s winning—she feels like she’s drowning in expectations.
Cue music…..🎤I really know how it feels to be….stressed out….stressed out………🎤🥴
If Tanya’s story hits a little too close to home, you’re not alone. So many middle-aged women are caught in this exact struggle—on the outside, they seem to be crushing it, but internally, anxiety is running the show.
The Problem
Let’s be real—on the surface, being an overachiever sounds like a flex. You get things done, people rely on you, and society applauds you for being a boss. But here’s the catch: when overachievement is fueled by anxiety, it’s not about healthy ambition. It’s about fear—fear of failure, fear of letting people down, fear of not being enough.
For a lot of middle-aged women, anxiety doesn’t always show up as classic worry or panic attacks. Sometimes it hides behind relentless hustle. Anxiety convinces you that if you just keep doing more—if you stay busy, work harder, and never stop—you’ll finally feel in control. Spoiler alert: that control never comes.
Instead, what happens is you burn out. You start resenting the very things you once enjoyed. You feel disconnected from your own life. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.
Let's Break It Down Further
Alright, so how exactly does anxiety sneak its way into overachievement? Let’s break down some of the key ways anxiety shows up in disguise:
Fear of Failure
Anxiety loves to whisper, “If you mess this up, it’s all over.” So you push yourself to be perfect, thinking that if you never fail, you’ll never have to feel that fear.
Need for Control
Life feels unpredictable, so you overcompensate by trying to control everything you can. You take on too much responsibility, thinking that if you can just keep it all together, nothing bad will happen.
Perfectionism
Anxiety convinces you that nothing you do is ever good enough. Even when you complete something, you’re already thinking about how it could have been better.
Seeking Validation
Maybe growing up, you learned that being productive and successful was how you earned praise. Now, anxiety has you stuck in that same pattern—chasing external validation to quiet your inner critic.
Avoiding Emotional Discomfort
Staying busy becomes a way to avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings. If you’re always doing, you never have to confront those deeper emotions.
See how anxiety tricks you into thinking overachievement is the answer? It’s a cycle: the more you achieve, the more anxiety tells you to keep going, or else.
So What Now?
So, how do you break free from this anxiety-driven hustle? Don’t worry—you don’t have to give up your ambition. The goal here is to shift from fear-based doing to intentional action. Here’s how you can start:
Call It Out
The first step is recognizing the pattern. When you catch yourself in overachievement mode, pause and ask, “Am I doing this because I want to or because I’m afraid not to?”
Talk Back to Your Inner Critic
That nagging voice that tells you you’re not doing enough? Challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is this thought even true?” or “Would I talk to my best friend like this?”
Set Some Boundaries
Start saying no to things that don’t align with what truly matters to you. Remember, every time you say no to something, you’re saying yes to something else—like rest, peace, and joy.
Schedule Rest Like It’s a Meeting
Yep, rest is non-negotiable. Block off time in your calendar for downtime, just like you would for an important meeting. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or just doing nothing, give yourself permission to rest without guilt.
Get Support
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Therapy can help you understand the root of your anxiety and teach you healthier ways to cope. Plus, having someone to hold you accountable as you make changes can be a game changer. If you’re in NJ, contact Point and Pivot Counseling Services to schedule a free consultation!
Now Imagine This…
You wake up in the morning and actually feel rested. You’re not immediately thinking about your to-do list. You take your time sipping your coffee, maybe even enjoy the silence for a moment. (BTW….that’s exactly what I do….every 👏🏽single 👏🏽 morning 👏🏽…and it’s been a game changer!)
Throughout the day, you still get things done, but you’re no longer driven by that nagging fear of not being enough. You take breaks without feeling guilty. You feel present with your loved ones because you’re not mentally ticking off tasks in your head. And at night? You actually relax—no racing thoughts, no middle-of-the-night worry sessions.
This is what life can look like when you stop letting anxiety run the show. You can still be ambitious, still achieve great things—but now, you do it from a place of calm and confidence, not fear.
AYYYYYYEEEEE!!!! 🙌🏽
Let's Do This!
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow, this is me,” it’s time to take action. You don’t have to live in a constant state of doing and worrying. You deserve to feel peace, balance, and joy.
At Point and Pivot Counseling Services, we specialize in helping middle-aged women like you break free from anxiety-driven overachievement and build a life where you can thrive without the constant pressure to be 🎤 “on and on….and on and on…...”🎤
OK…Now that I done GIF’ed da hell outta yall……🤣😉
Are ya ready to take the first step?
Schedule a consultation today and let’s work together to help you reclaim your time, energy, and peace of mind.
Until Next Time,
Chrys OUT! xoxoxoxoxo 😘
